No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women, and Children

The author makes the point there is a difference between a "nice person" and a "good person". "Nice" tries to avoid confrontation and conflict. "Good" accepts them as necessary in a corrupt, fallen world. Nice doesn't see the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.You can often see this playing out in public, as conservative politicians (more likely in contact with a church), are terrified of being called names, and will often abandon all promises and principles to adopt obviously destructive policies, as long as their opponents stop calling them names. Their instinct is to be "nice", not good, and they are readily controlled as a result.Recall the saying that "All that is needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"?It's NOT "All that's needed for the triumph of evil is for NICE men to do nothing" for a reason ...The author makes the biblical case that Jesus was NOT a "nice" guy; he was at times sarcastic, impatient, frustrated, assertive, angry, and even physical when the good warranted it, reflective of his human aspect. This reality has been papered over by the church as it --- and the way it portrays Jesus -- has became feminized over the last two centuries, the history of which the author goes into (a little bit ... would have liked more on this).Chapter six seemed over the top; the author describes sex as being as important as eating to men (a common scam used by some teenagers ... sometimes even into their early 20's). And, possibly motivated by his abusive upbringing, says that "nice guys" are products of abuse. Other possibilities might be laziness (too concerned about "picking battles"?), or even lack of training for those who grew up with little conflict. Probably others as well.But the main point is great: being nice is not the same as being good and often they are the opposite. Certainly inspires more attention to increasing my daily "good/nice" ratio ! "To infinity and beyond ..."!

I finally found a way to deal with not only a broken home, but slapped, hit with anything that was handy. My father hit my mother,was an alcoholic.Hit me and my two Bros. But he would take us deep sea fishing which I loved,bass all games I still love the game so I have both good and bad memories with him.Mom was a music lover, I'm a musician. She grew more and more bitter, she took good care of us took us surfing,Disneyland, but she could not hug us or say I love you. But she could hit us just like our father. So to rap this up in my 30's I went to counseling for 10 years, that was the beginning of finding out why I was the way I was. Afraid of people I did not know, a people pleaser, depression was a constant companion, but I knew why this was happening I just did not know how to get out of being a NMCNG and still be a man, have opinions,think for myself.I never had trouble getting women, but trouble keeping them.All I can say is my brother told me about a book like this but I'm a Christian and I enjoy a good self help book with Jesus in the center of it And this is one of the best I have read, I am going to read it again.

A lot of people think that Jesus was just some pushover, limp wristed, weak religious leader. NO - He was God Almighty inthe flesh. He was perfect, and lived everything out according to the Bible. He had himself under control. 1 Peter 2:23; Isaiah 53:7;Matthew 26:53, and Luke 23:34. On the other hand He also threw the money changers out of the temple, Matthew 21:12; Mark 11:15.Sometimes we have a wrong picture of who Jesus is, how He lived on this earth, the purposed of the examples He made for us and how we are to think, act, and live based on all of Scripture.This book isn't telling men to be angry, mean, or seek revenge, It shows us that we need to have a balance in our lives as we follow Jesus and that at certain times we need to stand up and be counted, to fight for the wounded, abused, injured, downtrodden people of the world as long as it matches with the Bible. Not to just sit by and have no opinion of anything and just be told what to do.

Paul's not afraid to challenge tradition and speak his mind. What he says makes sense. It's very helpful for Christian men who are struggling with living up to others' expectations to be 'nice' all the time. However, some might find his message a bit radical...

So you don't want to be the passive Christian anymore, but a strong one like Jesus was - if so read on !

Very well written. Not politically correct. Accurate and challenging as to who you are to be, and who Christ was not. He was not an effeminate who could not hold his own. He was a man who, when necessary, drove the public and the temple guard out of the temple.

Es ist spannend, verständlich und wirklich gut.Was soll ich sagen, holt es euch, es lohnt sich! Wirklich!(Wort, Wort)

Good read with lots of food for thought.