Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

I've read a lot of self help books trying to improve myself and my mental health. Most of the books are mediocre with a few good bits scattered through the pages, so I didn't go in to reading this one expecting much. I was very pleasantly surprised- astonished even. This book is amazingly astute- it read as if someone had watched my childhood and had taken notes, and then had taken a can opener and opened my head and peered at the thoughts inside and had written them all down, while leaving copious annotations to explain them to me.Everything written in this book was SO spot on and so applicable and so very relatable and understandable. As I told my therapist, I feel as though someone gave me a look at the code behind all the events and people in my life and I can now pinpoint where and why the irrational behaviors/events/emotions came from.I could not stop reading and doing all the exercises and polished off the book in a day and a half. I absolutely reccommend this book as a read for anyone who is trying to sort through the after effects of growing up with emotionally dysfunctional parents/family.

I loved this book, it was incredible helpful and I definitely shed some tears reading it. I would give the author Lindsay a hug and a thousand years of gratitude for taking the time to write this. I was never crazy, or asking too much, or over emotional, or missing a screw in my head. I was a child of an emotionally immature parent. I wasn't ready to read this book until now because of the defensive and protective attitude I had towards my parents but at 30, it was finally time to face the music before I did myself (more) damage.If you have ever felt that you were born in the wrong family, or something was fundamentally wrong with you, or you drove yourself crazy trying to figure out what was missing when you were fed, housed and clothed - read this book! If you find yourself being drawn to relationships where you quickly fall into a pattern of being taken advantage of but feel bad for even expecting the other person to reciprocate - read this book! If you were isolated, lonely, and couldn't fit in with your peers despite people making multiple efforts to include you - read this book! If you have been told all your life 'trust your gut' 'go with your instincts' or 'use your intuition' but you have never had those feelings in the first place - read this book!It's just shy of 200 pages, which is perfect as you can break it down and do a chapter at a time. Don't over intellectualise the advice given - you can always come back to it!You don't owe your parents the grace of mentally defending them.Best of luck everyone!5/5*

Recommended

This is an easy read but gets boring mostly common sence

This is such a wonderfully informative, interesting book. If you grew up not being obviously abused, but still suffer greatly from the way your parents treated you, then I imagine this is a great book for you, as it was me. The way it describes situations and experiences, really hit home. It put into words, feelings and experiences I have had for many years, but could not process or articulate to myself or others. I diligently read this book and will keep it to hand to refer back to. It has already helped improve my mental health surrounding my parents, and helped me communicate with them better to where I am not as triggered and upset as before. I am able to observe their behaviour and remember the book and then process everything in a healthier way. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with their relationship with their parents.

This is an excellent, insightful book. It describes different types of emotionally immature parents, the effects they have on their children and how to cope with those effects as an adult. I would describe the advice as somewhat survival level, with little to encourage those who have already reached such a place of strength that they are ready to re-engage and guide their parents into greater maturity, but that is the only notable omission, and let's face it, those are advanced level skills. All in all, the best book I have read on the subject. You will feel seen.