Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them

Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them  James Garbarino has been referred to by Edward Zigler as one of the nation's major social critics, his groundbreaking research and writing on children in refugee camps around the world, his study of children growing up in war zones from Cambodia, Mozambique, Kuwait, Nicaragua, and Palestine, not to mention his work with children growing up in this country in inner city war zones has influenced a whole generation of child development specialists, mental health professionals, politicians, and policy makers. He has been a truly inspirational figure for me and so many in the field in informing and guiding our work with violent youth. This book is destined to be a classic in the field and makes a compelling case for viewing in a humanistic way those youth who suffer traumatic, often unrecognized, and untreated lacerations to the soul that ultimately lead to a huge cost to society, not just economically, but more poignantly in pain and suffering. Garbarino along with Kenneth Hardy, who is another leading voice in this work, don't condone violence, in fact they deplore it, but they recognize a complicated underlying emotional process consisting of devastating emotional wounds to many of these youngsters who ultimately hurt and in rare, but extreme instances murder others. Typically these wounds have been ignored. In so many cases as Garbarino points out, when you peel away the layers, you will ultimately come to a traumatized child at the core. Tragically, many opportunities along the way are missed with these youngsters to recognize and treat the underlying pain; to provide the trauma-informed treatment that could offer healing to these deeply hurting youth. Our culture has become increasing punitive as if these methods were novel. The basic philosophy behind these harsh methods is that we need to break down the spirit of the kid. What is sadly missed in this approach is that for most of these kids their spirit is already broken down. Garbarino injects a refreshing breath of fresh air in the stale, dank, and limiting prevailing approaches that further demoralize our youth and offer little respite from violence in our society. To simply demonize our youth and to heap still harsher punitive measures on them is a deadend. By contrast, Garbarino's humanistic philosophy and deep committment to hurting youth opens the door to newer, more hopeful possibilites. His work has been instrumental in the encouraging movement in the last 8 years to develop trauma-informed treatment programs for youngsters in residential treatment diagnosed with conduct disorder. The Sanctuary Model developed by Sandra Bloom is one sterling example of such an approach. This is the first book I recommend to people working with violent youth. The field will be forever indebted to James Garbarino for this humanistic turning point in the treatment of deeply troubled youth.

Though the statistics may be old, the content isn’t. I like that the book addresses change not just in one or two areas, but looks at communities and society as a whole in having a responsibly in creating a non-toxic social environment. In today’s society and political climate, it will be an uphill battle but the research bares out considering. Learned a lot.

Boys are sometimes victims of a society that doesn't appreciate them. Their adventurous, high-spirited characteristics are suppressed by teachers and a world that says, "Behave." They should behave of course but they should also be allowed to be boys. This means picking up snakes, carrying pocket knives, and learning to hunt. Garbarino does an excellent job of explaining how boys can turn violent. They are frustrated with a world that doesn't see them for the valuable beings they are. This is an excellent book that can help parents and youth works better understand the emotional needs of boys.

I was a bit hesitant to order a used book and at the purchase price for which I obtained it. Other than a few highlighted parts, the book is in very good condition. The content of the book is informative and well worth reading. The research cited by author, James Garbarino, certainly indicates that the growing trend of extreme violence by teen and even sub-teens is a very complex problem.

I used this book as a reference while writing my master's thesis on preventing school shootings. It was an excellent resource, and I say that both as a parent of two sons and as a researcher. Every principal, teacher, and interested parent should give it a read.

Excellent copy was received. Everyone concerned with our youth should read this. We should start doing more for crime than putting people in jails and prisons. People who commit crimes need help - not torture!!!!!

This book is very interesting. I got it for school but am finding that it has intriguing information. It fairly dry, through the author does try to pull in examples and make the book interesting.

great book if you have not read it

The book is by far the closest one get to having a definitive lens (if this were possible) to look at youth and how we have been selling each individual youth short. And, more to the point just how vulnerable and fragile our young people are. But more significantly this book helps us as adults and parents to look at ourselves and ask how we measure up to deliver the necessary standard "tender loving care" to our youth.

As described

Good read

とてもいい本だった。・・・・がコメントがむずかしい。ここに書かれている内容がすべての人の共通認識となり、解決に向けての行動がなされるようになるのはいつの日のことだろう。子供の人権が大切に守られすべての子供たちが迷うことなく大人になることを願う。本文の中で、著者が触発されたノーベル平和賞受賞候補に推薦されたティク・ナット・ハンが書いた『平和は一歩一歩の中に』で、「人を非難しても始まらない」と題された文が載せられていたのが印象的だった。〜レタスを植えて、うまく育たなかったら、それをレタスのせいにする人はいないだろう。普通に、なぜ育たなかったか、その理由を探る。肥料や水がもっと必要なのかもしれないし、陽が当たりすぎていたのかもしれない。レタスを決して咎めはしないのである。しかし友人や家族と諍いがあると、我々は他人を非難する。我々が彼らを思いやることができれば、彼らもレタスのようにうまく育っていくのだ。人を非難しても始まらないし、理屈で相手を説得しようとすることも不毛である。それは私の経験から言えることだ。人を咎めず、理屈や理論で屈服させようとせず、ただ理解しようと努めるのみ。理解すれば、そして理解を示せば、その人を愛することができる。すると状況は変わっていく〜私も常々考えていた。子供を育てるというのは、農作業のようなもなものに近い。しかし、多くの子供たちの育てられ方や学校教育は、競馬の馬や、棚に陳列された商品を作るのに近いのではないか？・・・と。走れなくなった馬や、傷の入った商品のように、子供を扱ってはいけないと強く思う。